O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
