i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
