Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
