I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize