he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
