I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
