can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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