I wish I could teleport
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
