The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
