i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
