Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
