listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
