Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
