Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
