But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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