singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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