5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
