i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
