What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
