I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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