I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
