Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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