just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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