i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i drank out of a bidet.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
