sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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