I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Barsexuality is the new black.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize