I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
