Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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