I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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