He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
