hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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