I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
