I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
