ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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