At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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