Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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