She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
