When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
