She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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