I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
