Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
