my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
