woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
