Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
