I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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