the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
