she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My liver just had a heart attack.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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