dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
