She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
