Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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