he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
