How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
