Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I supernannyed him into submission
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
