the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
