Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
