it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
