no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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