I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
