am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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