I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
