ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize