I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm having to shit out rocks
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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