Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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