I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
