WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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